Holiday greetings

I receive from a friend the following message that would seem appropriate at this time.



Dear All,

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and associates, but it is so difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without risking offence. So having saught and subsequently acted upon legal advice, I wish to say the following to you all:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer/winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious/secular persuasions and/or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of your choice of other cultures whose contribution to society have helped make this country great (not to imply that our country is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Best regards,
Ralph



Thanks to Jean-Luc Migué who first received this message, for sending it to me.